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Posts Tagged ‘friends’

It doesn’t seem very long ago that I wrote my last post, but when I checked the date on it, I saw it had been over a month. A lot has happened in that time.

1) There was a major shakeup at my job. I am still in the process of dealing with it, but at this point, suffice it to say that I think things are about to change, hopefully in a good way, rather than bad. I have experienced so much upheaval workwise the past couple of years, I just want to be in a place in my life where I have a job to go to that I enjoy but that I can leave behind at the end of the day. My life is more than work and I want to be able to focus on that more than the stuff that happens during my 9-5 day.

2) I went to New York and met three of my blogging friends. I spent an entire day shopping and eating with my good friend Nie Nie from Chateau de Lau and I had a lovely brunch with my friend Jenny from Geek in Heels and my friend Ms. Zhu from The Zhukeepers. I “met” all of them when I was still technically single and it was funny, four years later, to meet them in actual physical person. We are all married now and two of the ladies have children which was kind of mind-blowing to see (Mr. Sam – you are selling me more on the idea of having a little boy!), but more than that, it was so fantastic to actually be able to actually talk to these ladies who had been a huge support to me from afar for so long.

3) Almost as soon as I got back from New York, we moved. It had been a long time coming, as we had put in an application on our new place at the end of February. Leaving our old place was weird because so much had happened there. We moved in just after we got engaged and it was our first martial home, so I had that attachment to it, but . . . it had problems. Our neighbours were loons, it was rapidly getting too small for us and the rent . . . the rent was ridiculously high for what we were getting for it. It just wasn’t working for us any more, so I started looking and found a place that was not only bigger, but significantly cheaper. The idea that we could have more space to sprawl out and pay $300 less a month was too good to pass up so we took it and even though it’s only been a month, we’re both really loving the new space. Boy has his own art studio, I have plenty of space for my books and DVDs and we’re right in the heart of a cute little neighbourhood that we love. Perfect!

4) The day we moved was also the day Boy celebrated his 28th birthday (damn whippersnapper!) Since we had to move (which we were lucky enough to be able to do thanks to the help of many of our awesome friends), he got a little bit shafted during the day, but our awesome friends Bella and Baax trucked out from the East End late on a Sunday night to help us down a glass to celebrate. They also convinced the two of us to sing karaoke, so after they belted out “Where Does My Heart Beat Now?” by Celine Dion and “Mama Said Knock You Out” by LL Cool J respectively, Boy and I both grabbed the mic for a song each. Our choices? “The Philosopher’s Drinking Song” by Monty Python and “Number One” by Goldfrapp. I will leave you to picture who sang what. 😉

5) Also, celebrating a birthday this month was my niece little Miss Abigail who turned one! We attended her birthday last weekend and she was adorable as always. Sometimes, I can’t believe how much she’s grown over a year! I can still remember seeing her the first day she came home from the hospital! If at all possible, I love her even more now than I did then.

It’s strange. I think about my life last year compared to how it is now and so many things are different. There are so many people in my life now that I either didn’t know or wasn’t as close to, and it’s kind of amazing to see my world expand like that after a long period of contraction and loss. Not only is this fruitful period of my life really great, but I think I am finally letting myself relax and enjoy it. I can get really pessimistic sometimes to the point where I feel overwhelmed by the sad stuff, but lately, I’ve been doing my best to just chill out and embrace the change and I’ve really been having a good time.

So that’s where things stand right now. Life is in transition for me, but it’s the positive kind and that’s awesome.

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Bitch Guilt

I’m embedding The Dandy Warhols’ “We Used To Be Friends” into this post because it relates to the topic and is one of my favourite Dandy Warhol songs.

I got into a conversation with a couple of my girlfriends today and it really got me thinking . . .

So I have this Dude Friend who I’ve been friends with since my early 20s. He is a nice guy. Sort of.

Our history is a bit weird. Way back when we first started being friends, I developed a crush on him. He did not seem into me and so we were purely platonic. We’d hang out, have fun and then go our separate ways. There were approximately three times we could have hooked up, but at the end of the day, nothing romantic ever happened. I have never been able to maintain friendships with anyone I’ve had a romantic relationship with, and I wasn’t in a very relationship-y place at the time, so I considered this a good thing. I mean why mess up our awesome friendship over sex?

So six months after I get married to the ever fantastic Boy, I run into DF at a bar. He has been drinking for some time and is happy to see me. However, when it is time for me to go, he hugs me very low around the waist and then starts bringing up what I will for the sake of brevity refer to as “Possible Romantic Exploit #2”. I feel a bit uncomfortable, but I don’t want to make a scene, so I smile and leave. The next day, I go to talk to him about it, but before I can tackle to subject, he starts talking about how drunk he was and how last night was so crazy etc. So I drop it.

For a while after that, we have a variety of encounters in group situations where he doesn’t really talk to me all that much. Things are awkward, but okay – sometimes we do stupid things in front of other people and we feel silly for it. It is not the end of the world.

Then, a few months pass and it’s Boy’s birthday. About 15 minutes after I post something on Facebook wishing my spouse a happy birthday, I get an update that this dude has sent me a message. When I check Facebook, there is no message there, but in my e-mail account, I find an e-mail containing a message from him that is mildly derogatory towards me. It’s not the most awful thing anyone has ever said to me by far, but it just seems a bit weird and not really within the spirit of our friendship. I don’t really know what to do, so I forward the e-mail update back to him to let him know that, even if he thought better of it later and deleted it, I still got his message. I also make a little joke about the message, like “haha, very funny!” to show that it doesn’t really bother me and that it’s not a big deal.

A little while after that, I hear we’re headed to the same concert. We cross paths and I mention that it’ll be fun to hang out if he’s at the same show. He responds enthusiastically and I think that maybe we’ll be able to talk or something and get on the same page. Except when I see him, all I get from him is a freeze out. He’ll talk to me if I talk to him, but otherwise, nothing.

So here’s the thing: this dude hasn’t been acting like much of a friend for a while now and I have yet to really, properly call him on it. You want to know why? Bitch Guilt. As much as there’s history and feelings and mutual friends and all sorts of other pedantic bull$h!t, the thing that secretly worries me the most is him thinking I’m a bitch and then telling other people what a bitch I am.

I know. I am like the worst feminist ever, but I can’t help it. It bothers me. It bothers me that people could think less of me and, even worse than that, it bothers me that it bothers me that people could think less of me. Like, why do I care what other people think of me? And if they think bad things after hearing that, it would be on the basis of what? Some dude I didn’t sleep with feeling spurned because we’re “just friends”? And I mean, are we really even friends at this point? Do friends mess with friends that are in relationships? Do friends slag other friends? Do friends freeze friends out? Do friends make friends cry because of how miserable and alienated they feel after hanging out? No they don’t . . . or at least they shouldn’t because that is MESSED UP.

And Bitch Guilt is messed up. That stupid word, “bitch,” holds so much power sometimes. If men stand up for themselves, they get to be called things like “brave” and “assertive” but if you’re a woman doing the same thing, the word “bitch” is rolling off people’s tongues before you can even catch your breath. So, to keep from being called a “bitch,” we women do all sorts of things. We pretend that things don’t bother us. We make stupid jokes. We swallow down derogatory words from others. All because we don’t want to seem like we’re “emotional.” Like we’re “humourless.” Like we’re “BITCHy.” And the kicker of it is, the people who are going to say those things about us, who want to say those things about us, are going to say them anyway. Because that’s what they do. Because nothing is ever their fault. Because they’re surrounded by “bitches”.

I have no idea what is going to happen in our relationship. I know he can be a decent guy, so maybe we’ll work things out eventually and become friends again . . . or maybe we’re just destined to emplode in some sort of messy show of histrionics and hormones. At this point, I don’t know and with every day that passes, I’m inching closer and closer to thinking it would just be better to excise him from my life all together. Out of all of this, the only thing I do know is that, just like no one can make you feel inferior without your permission, I’ve got to teach myself that no one can make you feel like a bitch without your permission and get the hell over this Bitch Guilt.

Has anyone else out there in the interwebs experienced “Bitch Guilt”? What was the situation and how did you deal with it?

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Judd Nelson - He was harsh.

This is probably what my blog would say to me if my blog had a voice. Don’t you forget about me. Remember the good times? The posting multiple times a day with general randomness? Can’t we have that again?

And the truth is, we could, I am just lazy when it comes to updating.

So what has happened since October? Many, many things. One of the biggest things was that Boy’s grandmother passed away at the end of October.

We had known it was coming, but it still really sucked for everyone since she was the Matriarch of the family and it was a loss that resonanted through his family. Boy’s grandmother had been having mental issues since before we got together – Alzhemeir’s – so by the time we were a couple, she would spend large stretches of time not particularly lucid. In fact, there were only a handful of times I can recall that we spoke and she seemed aware of what was happening. Happily enough, one of those lucid times was an occasion where I got to show her our wedding album and that was good. She had been too sick to come to our wedding, but regailing her with stories and hearing her talk about her life was pretty cool. 

Anyway, her passing struck a strange cord with me because I realized that I had never really gotten to know her that well and now that she was gone, I never really would. It’s a weird feeling when you lose someone like that – of course you miss them, but you also miss the potential of them – all the great stories and experiences you could have had with them. 

Grandma holding Abbey. Could she have looked any prouder? 🙂

Her passing also hit me pretty hard because the day of her funeral was the 1 year anniversary of my cousin Tassy’s death, which I still sometimes feel emotional about. Our friends Jack and Sally finally finished editing our wedding video a little while ago, and when I watched it and saw Tassy hugging me and us talking together, I had to make Boy stop the DVD so I could erupt in tears. Even sitting here, typing this, I feel misty about it all over again. Four people lost in one year. Definitely not an ideal 12 months, let me tell you.

On the social front, the last few months of the year were pretty good. Over the last year, Boy and I made a decision to start making more of an effort to meet people, so we ended up making a lot of really good friends. It’s funny, I think as you get older, you oftentimes develop this attitude that you can’t just be friendly and extend hang out invitations to people. But you totally can! In fact, doing so led me to:

1. Try fondue.
2. Have Mexican Thanksgiving.
3. Get superdrunk on gin martinis.
4. Attend a giant bonfire on Toronto Island.
5. See a fire show.
6. Attend my first cabaret/burlesque show.
7. Build a giant birdcage.
8. Attend multiple Christmas parties.
9. Throw crazy theme parties.
10. Play D&D for the first time. (Yes, I know this is supremely nerdy, but some new friends of ours who host a nerd podcast convinced us to as an experiment and it was pretty funny.)

And how can you not love that? Making a bunch of new friends and trying a bunch of new stuff is only ever awesome. It’s what keeps life from being monotonous in the face of boring things like work.

Speaking of work, the bosses decided that my department was overpopulated with two people, so they didn’t renew my awesome co-worker’s contract and now, my department is just me. I’m not really sure why this became an issue now, considering that when I started, our department had three people in it, but they made some weird Highlander-eqse decision and now there can be only one! coordinator. I’m going to see how it goes for the next little while, but truth be told, I am starting to think about my options and looking into another position somewhere else. Considering I am now expected to fill the void of two coworkers, I’m not particularly impressed with the situation and in spite of the glowing praise I received in my last evaluation, I don’t think kind words are enough to make up for the fact that I’m poorly paid. I mean, I know it’s not all about money, but I have friends that are administrative assistants that make more than I do as a supervisor so that kind of sucks. If only I could find a job that allowed me to snark on movies all day, I would be set!

And ’cause this post is rapidly turning into a hodgepodge of information, here is a bunch of other random stuff – punctuated with exclaimation marks!

1) My childhood best friend Snuffy is getting married! He and his girlfriend are planning a June wedding in Edmonton so we will be flying out and celebrating with them. I am excited for them and so happy that he’s found someone that makes him happy and sees him for the terrific person he is.

Snuffy and his fiancee. Aren't they adorable?

2) I got a brand new DSLR camera for Christmas! Not only did I get a great deal on the camera, I got an additional lens the normally retails for $280 for $50! I am a kickass shopper sometimes! Anyway, I am just learning to use it so I’m still working things out, but I’ve taken a few pictures already that I am really happy with, so things can only get better.

One of the pictures I took my first trip out with the new camera. I kind of wish that was my dog. He was so cute.

3) I am going to New York in April! I absolutely love New York and my parents were nice enough to offer to bring me with them free of charge (Boy is staying at home and working). Not only am I psyched about the fact that I get to rock it up in The Big Apple again (the last time I went was 2007), but it will be an awesome visit for me. For those of you who don’t know, back when I was engaged/newly married, I wrote for a website called Weddingbee which was awesome because I made some great girlfriends through it. I ended up leaving the site*, but have kept in touch with many of the girls since, and so while I am there, I am hopefully going to get to meet many of my close online friends for the first time in person! Hooray!

4) I am going to Paris in October! I have never been to Europe, so this is kind of huge. Again, through the kindness of Boy’s father and stepmother who are springing for our plane tickets, we are getting to have a romantic week for two in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. Not only can I not wait to hit the road again (I have been so desperate to travel these past few tripless years), but doing a trip like this with Boy will be amazing. I love him so much and after everything we went through last year (we had actually been talking about a trip to Paris the week before he got laid off), being able to walk down the Champs Elysees holding his hand will pretty much be the best thing ever.

5) I am going to be babysitting my niece Abbey in June! My in-laws have a weird month stretch of my sister-in-law’s maternity leave being over and my brother-in-law not quite being done school yet, so I am going to take a couple of vacation days to go hang out with and look after her. As she is incredibly awesome and adorable (and pretty much always makes my uterus skip a beat), I am sure we are going to have a great time.

Yeah, so my niece is adorable. If my kids are half as cute, I am totally on board.

Anyway, I think that is everything important I can think of. I will try to stay on this blogging bandwagon a little more during this month and the months to come.

Hope everyone is enjoying 2011 so far!

Love,
Girl

 *Just after I got married, the site was taken over by eHarmony and I decided I didn’t feel comfortable writing for a website that had ties to the Christian Right/Anti-Gay groups. My man of honour was gay as were about 10 per cent of our guests, so it seemed kind of like a slap in the face to them and I quit. Funnily enough, some years later, after eHarmony was sued for discrimination against the LGBT community and forced to create a gay-friendly sister site, my man of honour signed up for it and met a man who later became his husband. Go figure!

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By MIA, I mean "Missing In Action," not MIA the music star. However, if I could be brave enough to dress like that when I get knocked up, that would be kind of cool.

Wow, I didn’t even realize until now that it had been as long as it’s been. Granted, I am not particularly surprised. With the way things work with my job, the later half of the summer always gets eaten up by work craziness . . . plus, this year our summer was incredibly busy and I kind of have this rule that if it comes down to writing about my life or going out and living my life, living always wins.

So yeah, I guess this calls for a cliff notes kind of update:

Boy’s job stuff:

Boy got a new job! And it’s only an hour or so away from our place! This is the most awesome thing by far. He’d been unemployed since April and with summer almost over, it was making us both a little anxious about what we would do in the months ahead. However, the third week of August, he got a call about an application, went in for an interview and bam! New job! It was funny, we went out for dinner a while ago with some friends of ours who had gone through a similar situation and they said to us “Sometimes, it doesn’t feel like it will ever get better and then suddenly it does and you don’t know what the problem was,” and it was definitely like that for us. Not having to worry about money or the possibility of living apart was such a relief.

My job stuff:

I interviewed for a pretty awesome gig a few months ago and according to an inside line, I was in a shoo-in for the job. That is until the department I interviewed with was downsized and the position eliminated. This was a major bummer since I REALLY wanted that job, but I reasoned that at least they didn’t hire me and then downsize the position. Anyway, I was holding on in my job and feeling frustrated when someone in my department announced they were quitting. At this point, my department was already understaffed so I felt anxious, but this person’s departure left a spot open for me to slip in and gain some managerial control . . . which is what happened as of September 1st when I became head of my department. So yeah, I am still here slugging away, but this time it’s with a pay raise and some actual say as to how my job works. Granted, it hasn’t been that long yet, but I’m feeling much happier about what is happening now that I am not reliant on other people. I still have goals and plans for the future, but this is at least a good step forward.

Family stuff:

The last time I updated, things were a little rough on this front, but they’ve gotten better. I’ve written a lot about the problems I’ve had with my parents, but I wanted to definitely take a moment to say that as hard as things have been with them sometimes, they do actually care about me and they are supportive when I really need them to be. With all my job frustrations, they sat down and told me if things at work got too bad, they would jump in and be willing to help me out for a few months if I really needed to quit and look for something else. Although I would never take them up on something like that unless I was in a completely dire situation, it allowed me to feel like I had a little breathing room in a very stressful situation which I really, really needed. Anyway, we’ve had a couple of lunches over the past month or so (one for my mom’s birthday and one for mine) and we’ve talked and things have felt right again, which puts my heart at ease.

Friend Stuff:

We had some people distance themselves from us when we were going through these hard times. I even had one person say to me when I was explaining our situation (at this point we were still thinking Ben might have to move) “That’s depressing. I don’t want to talk about that.” While I know that these people didn’t mean to be mean, it still really sucked. Just going through something stressful like that already makes you feel like you’re alone and having people you consider to be your friends bail on you just heightens that feeling of isolation. So, to those of you who haven’t been through this with friends, here is my advice to you: It’s not all about having to say the right thing. Sometimes it’s about admitting you have no f*cking clue what to say and just checking in once in a while. Drop a line via e-mail. Swing by with some beer. Invite them over for dinner. We had some people do these incredibly simple things for us and they made a world of difference and made us that much more aware how kick ass some of our friends truly are. Thanks guys!

Miscellaneous Fun Stuff:

I was just updating my summer vacation photo album on Facebook and I realized that I have actually done a lot of stuff including:
1. Going to see Band of Horses, Broken Social Scene and Pavement live on Toronto Island. We thought it was going to rain but we had great weather for this. Unfortunately, maybe a little too great since I got pretty burned. Whoops!
2. Meeting one of my blog friends in person. Looking back on it now, it feels like a lifetime ago I was bloggin’ for the ‘Bee, but I am grateful I did it since it introduced me to a bunch of awesome people.
3. Going to see Patton Oswalt live at Just for Laughs. He was just as good as I was hoping he’d be.
4. Going to my art class’ art show. Boy helped set it up and had two pieces in it. As for me, I didn’t submit this time, but maybe next year if I am feeling braver.
5. Visiting my niece Abbey and her awesome parents. Seriously, a huge part of this summer would have been unbearable without these three people.
6.  Visiting with my Godmother who came in from Montreal. She is one of the nicest people ever but anytime I see her, it’s kind of funny because she is incredibly short and I am almost two feet taller than her.
7. Throwing a “dramatic reenactment” party with a bunch of my friends. Some people bailed last minute, but the people who did come were awesome reenactors.
8. Going to see Arcade Fire live. One of the best, if not the best, concert I have ever seen.
9. Hosting some lovely friends of ours and their three kids for a swim and dinner the August long weekend. Their kids are awesome and our friends are such good parents, it was a really nice afternoon.
10. Going to Boy’s extended family reunion. We didn’t know half the people, but we got to drink and hang out with Boy’s immediate family, so that was cool.
11. Celebrating my mom’s 59 birthday and my 28th birthday. I have a distinct feeling that 28 is going to be my year.
12.  Throwing an art show opening for Boy. He was a little bummed about the turnout, but people really liked his stuff and he sold some prints which is good.
13. Attending the 10th wedding anniversary party of two of our good friends. This might have possibly inspired us to throw an anniversary party next year, but we have to wait and see how that plays out.
14. Enjoying a fondue party with friends new and old. Melted cheese and groovy ’70s rock make everything all right.
15. Going to Fort York for the first time ever. Way to go History!

Not all of those things are in sequence and I am sure there is other stuff I am missing, but those are the biggies and they kind of help explain why I’ve been AWOL.

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got for now. I’m hoping once the craziness at work subsides, I’ll be able to blog more. To that end, I’ve even been in touch with a couple of people about guest blogging to kick my butt into gear, so I’ll update when that happens. But, in the meantime, here is a picture of my adorable niece. There is pretty much nothing cuter than this little bean.

Hope this blog post finds you all well and that you had an excellent summer!

Love,

Girl

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It’s funny sometimes how as an adult, you find yourself still learning completely obvious lessons. Things will happen to you and it’s like someone flipped a switch because you’ll finally be able respond to them with intelligence and common sense. And then, you’ll wonder why the hell you weren’t doing that for years.

This happened to me recently when I was dealing with my friend Bjork. Just a little background info – we’ve been friends for 10 years and I love her to pieces. We have been through a lot and have had many heart-to-heart talks. The bad-stuff-is-going-on-at-home talk. The I-think-I-might-want-to-sleep-with-this-dude talk. The what-the-hell-am-I-doing-with-my-life talk. This girl knows my dirt and I know hers.

Anyway, a little while ago, we made plans to go to a concert together and I was really excited. Way back in our younger days, we went to a bunch of concerts together and we always had fun, so I was looking forward to enjoying a lovely day of music and laughs just us girls. I bought my ticket six months in advance and I understood that she had her ticket as well until . . . a week before the show, I got an e-mail saying she hadn’t bought her ticket and she wasn’t coming with me.

I was none too happy.

The way things used to work with me, if someone disappointed me, I wouldn’t do anything about it. I would just kind of take my displeasure and frustration with the situation, jam it way down into the pit of my stomach and not say anything because I was so worried about offending or upsetting other people. I come from a family of WASPs and it was just the preferred way of reacting. Don’t mess up the couch cushions, don’t mess up your hair, don’t mess up the world with your silly/complicated feelings.

This strategy is not a good one. In fact, as I have learned, it is a giant mistake and it just plain sucks.

So, blazing forward in a shot of emotional recklessness, I actually took a chance and called her out on it. I told her that I valued our friendship, but that being blown off last minute was rude and hurtful. And much to my WASPy surprise, the entire world didn’t come crashing down on me. In fact, it actually helped. We got to talk in an honest, realistic way about it. No getting pissed and stomping off or other junior high style antics, just back and forth about what had happened and what was going on with both of us until we worked $h!t out.

Damn if it didn’t feel good.

So from here on out, I’m going to try to make the whole honesty thing part of my regular routine. I can’t believe it took me 27 years to figure it out, but there you go. Everybody’s got to learn sometime, right?

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Recently, I found a bunch of music CDs I burned off the hard drive of my old computer so I’ve been adding them slowing to my iTunes to jazz up my music library. When listening to those songs, I came across some stuff from this band called Laptop. I hadn’t heard this album in a long time and it reminded me of a friend I used to have.

Basically, me and this girl grew up together. Because our families were friends, we hung out all the time and we were friends. Unfortunately, it was kind of like we were friends with an asterisk because our friendship was really dysfunctional. 

1. She pretty much bullied me into doing what she wanted a lot of the time. On my birthday, we’d go to restaraunts she wanted to go to. When we went to the movies, we’d see stuff she wanted to see. When we hung out at all, it had to be where she wanted to hang out when she wanted to hang out, otherwise we wouldn’t hang out at all. It was her way or the highway.

2. She kind of set up these roles for us in which she was the smart academic one and I was the ditzy creative one and they were never to be changed. If I did well on a test or an assignment, she didn’t want to hear about it.

3. The only time she really had any use for me was when I was in a crisis, and even then, if my crisis didn’t wrap itself up quickly enough, she would get bored and either harangue me about it or hang up on me altogether.

We had been “friends” for about 20 years when Boy and I got together. About two years in, he and I started discussing the hypotheticals of getting married. When I e-mailed her about this, I received no response. It was only months later that I received a rage filled e-mail from her, laundry listing everything she felt I had ever done wrong in the two decades and change we had been friends. I hadn’t supported her enough. I hadn’t made enough of an effort to come visit her at school. I had bragged about my own scholastic achievements. I had messed up the name of her new boyfriend one time. Any nasty thing she had ever thought about me was there in black and white. She then concluded the e-mail by telling me we could no longer be friends if I was going to be “a boring old suburban housewife” and that I “wasn’t the kind of person who deserved an amazing friend like (her) anyway.”

At the time, I was really devastated by this and spent the next two days slipping in and out of crying jags. I couldn’t believe I had lost the person I considered my best friend.

Looking back on it now, I have a little more clarity about the situation. Was it all her fault the friendship ended? No. I could have (and really should have) said something and stuck up for myself over the years we were friends. Instead, I accepted the dysfunctional dynamic as okay and things went too far. Would I want to be friends again? Hell no. In spite of my not blaming her for the end of the friendship (I know I had some lacklustre moments myself because no one in a friendship is perfect), I also came to realize that being friends with someone who is actively pissed off by your being happy is MESSED UP.

At this point, it’s been about four years since we last spoke. I e-mailed her about a month before I got married and said I hope she was doing well, but never received a response. I don’t think I would have wanted one anyway.

We all have to learn to deal with a failed friendship at some point and this was one of mine. It was a painful experience, but I got through it and I feel smarter and more prepared to deal with people in the future. Being a friend doesn’t mean being spineless, it doesn’t mean keeping secrets from the other person and it definitely doesn’t mean trying to make the other person feel like crap.

So, on that note, here is the Laptop song. May you have a chuckle over it (it’s called “I’m So Happy You Failed” and it’s actually pretty funny) and then do everything you can to be the opposite of this person in real life.

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