I am not, nor have I ever been, a girly girl. The closest I ever came was a weird era in the late ’80s where I insisted on wearing skirts and dresses all the time while climbing trees. I’m not sure why I thought this was a good idea as it resulted in many ripped outfits or my ass hanging out half the time, but I guess as a five-year-old, I wasn’t that concerned about wardrobe destruction or panty-flashing.
Anyway, one of the few offerings I made to the altar of estrogen growing up was being a pretty avid fan of the Sweet Valley series. I’ve mentioned this before, but I followed those Wakefield twins through thick and thin. Grade School (Sweet Valley Kids), Middle School (Sweet Valley Twins), High School (Sweet Valley High) and Post-Secondary (Sweet Valley University), we went through many years together. Common sense and continuity be damned! The Wakefield girls were my girls . . . And man, were they ever mean girls sometimes! I’ve only realized this more as an adult, but what sanctimonious little pricks they were to some of their friends. I mean Lila was generally thought of as “the group bitch”, but she was the respectable kind of bitch. In that way, she was kind of like Sweet Valley‘s own James Spader. She didn’t hide the fact that she was an asshole under a bunch of bumbling and cutesy gestures ANDREW MCCARTHY* – she owned it and you knew what you were getting with her.
Anyway, my lovely and much more girly sister-in-law reminded me of the series again this morning when she posted a link on my Facebook wall to an interview with Francine Pascal (the all-knowing creator god of the Sweet Valley Universe) who was talking about this . . .
I wasn’t that excited about it because this book is practically Sweet Valley folk lore at this point. There has been talk time and time again that there was going to be a book following the Wakefields & their plucky pals post-grad, but the reports were always riddled with errors and the release date of the book was never firm, so I was sceptical the thing would ever see the light of day.
Until, apparently, now because, unbeknowst to me, the book was released yesterday and my nearby bookstore has 43 copies of it! Hells ya!
So needless to say, I will be heading over to the bookstore at lunch because Sweet Valley, she is my lady crack**. I am so addicted to the ridiculous, manufactured drama of it that I need . . . nay, have to read what happens to those blonde bitches next! Woot! So excited! Trashy book, here I come!
(A reading and a detailed recap will be coming shortly.)
*And something that I didn’t mention in my Andrew McCarthy Sucks! post but that I should have was that, when Andie and Blaine (blech!) finally get back together and kiss and whatever, they’re in like an alley or a parking lot or whatever with none of his stupid jerk friends around so he’s still ashamed of her! Pretty easy to deliver big speeches about how much integrity you have when you don’t actually have to have any balls to back it up, eh Blaine? At least Danny Zuko who, don’t get me wrong, I also have problems with danced with Sandy in front of everyone at the carnival thingy! Bah! HATE!
**You know, I just realized that by calling a post “Lady Crack,” I am probably opening my blog up to a bunch of really unsavoury blog search terms but my brain is so clouded with happy ridiculous thoughts that I don’t care. Sorry, perverts!