Boy and I have talked about kids for a while now and we both have said that we want them. We have names and toys picked out in our heads. We’ve discussed baby shower themes and Halloween costumes. We are both excited about the prospect of being parents.
I am 27 years old and Boy is 26. We will mark our 1 year 8 month anniversary on the 28th of this month. We both have relatively stable full-time jobs. But still, we know it is not the time for us.
There are many reasons for this. We both want to do some couple-only traveling. We are still renting. We are finally at the point where we can enjoy some selfish financial splurging. But the biggest one for me is that I saw what it was like for my parents and I don’t want to do that. My mom got pregnant with me before they were fully ready** and it really changed things for them. I’m not saying that they did anything less than their best, because I do feel like I had good parents in the scheme of things, but they gave up so much to have me. My dad gave up on his music. They had no money. We had to move to a place neither of them liked. There were some tough and unhappy times and the thought of rushing to get to a situation like that scares me.
However, if I’m being totally honest, once in a blue moon, I will look at the preggos around me and worry about not being pregnant. It’s stressful thinking about the whole biological timeline issue. My SIL and BIL tried to get pregnant for a year and a half and then they had to undergo fertility treatment. The women in my family have notoriously difficult pregnancies. It could be hard. But at the end of the day, I realize there is a lot of time and there are a lot of ways to figure all that stuff out, while there is a relatively tiny timeframe to just enjoy being young and happy and (relatively) newly married.
So for now, we’re waiting. I hope some day to be someone’s mom, and I know whenever that time comes, I’ll be ready, but I look forward to doing it happily and with no regrets.
*The grand total used to be 16, but my best friend from grade school and one of my blogging friends have both popped out babies in the past couple of weeks.
** They got married in August 1981 and were pregnant with me in November of the same year.