They are shorties, so today I’m posting two of our weirdest chats, as well as a conversation we had with my Brother-in-Law on the way to the first of our four Christmases.
Things you need to know going into this first conversation:
a) When we were in bed one night, the nail on my husband’s big toe bumped against my knee and scratched it so hard it broke the skin. I did not notice this until it had scabbed over.
b) Male Platypuses (Platypi?) have little spurs on their feet that produce venom to harm their enemies.
Me: Man, my knee still isn’t healed. That place you scratched me keeps getting all pus-y around the edge.
Boy: What? Why would it be pus-y?
Me: I don’t know. There are a lot of little bacteria on feet, so maybe from that.
Boy: It’s not like I’m a platypus, Girl. I didn’t stab you with my spur or anything.
Me: Hmm. Maybe that would explain why there are no platypus cowboys.
Boy: Exactly! Too many dead horses.
Things you need to know going into this second conversation:
a) Boy works long hours but he always makes a point of coming and tucking me into bed at night.
b) Oftentimes, when I am feeling restless and like I can’t sleep, Boy will talk to me for a bit, telling me stories, telling me about his day or making up nonsensical facts.
Me: Tell me something random before you go.
Boy: There was once a bendy straw that was so bendy, it bent all the way through the fabric of time and then back again.
Me: Where did it bend through exactly?
Boy: They don’t know but wherever it bent through, when it came back, it tasted like strawberries.
Me: What kind of strawberries?
Boy: What do you mean, what kind of strawberries?
Me: Like were they fresh strawberries or like synthetic strawberries?
Boy: Does that make a difference?
Me: Totally. Because fresh is more old-timey and synthetic is more futuristic.
Boy: Oh *thinks about it for a moment* Synthetic. Definitely synthetic.
Me: Cool! The future!
Things you need to know going into this third conversation:
a) Boy and I were driving up to my MIL’s in Newmarket with Nick and Erin and we were all feeling kind of punchy.
b) We got onto the topic of Greek Mythology because I have been reading the Percy Jackson* books.
Me: And then the centaur was at the centre of the maze . . .
Me: Oh, shoot! I meant Minotaur!
Nick: I mean, really, can you imagine a Centaur in a maze?
Nick, Boy and I all laugh heartily.
Erin: Man, you guys are nerds.
*I just finished the last one last night and I really enjoyed the series. If you like adventure or mythology, pick ’em up! They are an easy read and a lot of fun.