Just got a call from Boy and the HR person from Penguin called and confirmed that I did not get the job.
I already kind of knew and I had been preparing myself for this answer because the job market is full of really smart people right now, but hearing it out loud pains me anew.
I know there is probably some positive karmic benefit I know nothing about that comes to people who are all Zen about not landing jobs they want. Those “Everything happens for a reason!” people probably have better life expectancies or lower blood pressure or something.
And there’s part of me that wants to embrace that philosophy. I do wish I was one of those easy going slow-down-and-smell-the-patchouli types . . .
But I’m not. If I had to stick a label on myself, I’m more of the let’s-talk-about-how-it-sucks-for-a-while-and-then-eat-ice-cream type of gal.
So, since I don’t have a tub of Mint Chocolate Breyer’s handy . . . Doesn’t getting rejected from jobs suck? You get to feel like you lost something, even though it was never yours to begin with.
Plus, as an added bonus, when you don’t get a job, you get to flashback to your interview process and analyse everything you could have possibly done wrong or the small and subtle ways they were rejecting you.
Like when they say things like “Well, you’re certainly qualified and any team would be lucky to have you.”
Any team. Meaning not their team.
I know there are people out there in much worse situations than I am. I know I will bounce back and start taking care of things again tomorrow. I know there will, at some point, come a day when I will look back on all of this and be like “Oh yeah, that? That was so not a big deal!”
But right now?