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Archive for March, 2009

Today is the last Tuesday of the month so you know what that means – time for book club!

I posted my post here so anyone who wants to chip in their two cents is welcome to.

We’re starting out small, but I’m excited to just get back in the swing of reading more regularly and talking about books.

If you missed this time, I’ll put up a poll later in the day so people can vote on what they want to read next time – possibly with a bit of a time extension on it since I didn’t really take into account the people ordering books online (Sorry Julie!)

Cheers and happy reading!

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The Next Step . . .

After playing phone tag for a little bit this morning, I got ahold of Paula and we got to talk a little bit about things and I have a meeting with her later in the week.

!!!!!!!!!!

My stomach is doing happy and excited flipflops as I type here, but I have to admit, after some time letting things sink in, I’m kind of nervous. Not to hide behind an idiom, but once bitten, twice shy, you know? I’ve interviewed places before and thought I did brilliantly, only to be totally disappointed to find out that, after a month of hoping and wishing and picturing myself in the offices, I didn’t get it.

This is by far the most amazing break I’ve had and I want this more than I can accurately convey on a blog, but I have to be realistic this time. So while part of my brain has me doing cartwheels, the other part is trying to be practical and keep me level.

I just have to focus on the next step. I’ve applied. I called. I’ve got a meeting. The meeting is the next step. The meeting is a big deal. The meeting is the thing to focus on. I just have to be smart and confident and resist the impulse to turning into a book fangirl and/or puke from excitement in the interviewer’s lap.* People tend to like you a lot less when you blow chunks on their neatly tailored pant suits.

In any case, I’m focusing on the next step and trying to prepare the best I can.

Anyone have any tips on interviewing? Questions to ask? Things to wear? My nerves could very possibly get the best of me and I want to be ready in the moment!

*I’m giving myself a bit of leeway on this one in that I’m allowing myself to throw up the night before or do it in a washroom pre-interview so long as I have breath mints.

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The elusive Paula called me.

Me.

Me.

Me!

For obvious reasons, I cannot call her back at the moment but I snuck out to the bathroom to squeal and do a little happy dance.

I know not to get my hopes up just yet, but . . .

HOLY CRAP PEOPLE! PENGUIN BOOKS CALLED FOR ME!

Addendum: Seeing these words in this font does not accurately describe how totally psyched I am, so please imagine them forty feet tall in flashing lights. 😛

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(Someone I know quoted this line this morning and it made me laugh so I’ve used it as my title. I think I need to watch Office Space again soon as my own office is almost as quirky.)

So, as you may have noticed, I kind of took last week off from here. I’ve got to say, it was kind of nice. I’ve been feeling kind of frustrated and burned out recently, so it felt kind of like a relief to me to not be beholden to anything for a little bit. No regular blogging. No list items. No nothing.

Instead of that stuff, I’ve been putting my energy into trying to change my day-to-day situation (a.k.a. the gig). I am probably a bit of a bonehead trying to initiate a search in a competitive field during a recession, but as I am feeling myself inching towards a breaking point, I know that I have got to try.

I hate feeling bored and unfulfilled.

I hate having to constantly pick up the slack for others (someone called in today for the sixth day this month).

But most of all, I hate waking up every morning with that feeling in the pit of my stomach. That horrible, sour, “Oh please, not there again” feeling.

I hate that feeling, not only because it’s causing me to pop antacids all the time, but because this is coming from a job that I used to love and that I consider myself good at. I love working hard and sloughing through a bunch of work. I mean that rush and sense of accomplishment you get when you cross the finish line is awesome. But when you feel like you’re by yourself when you’re supposed to be part of a team, it sucks tremendously.

Anyway, there have been some recent developments that give me hope. One, the department I work for is talking about hiring another person so at least there might be someone else starting that can be trained to help with some of the craziness (I’ve worked the last two busy seasons understaffed which is not fun) and two, there have actually been a couple of breaks in my search.

One of course, was the Penguin gig and then the day after, I found a posting for one at Kids Can Press which would also be pretty amazing since I have long been interested in working in kidlit.

However putting aside shop talk for a minute, this weekend was actually quite a bit of fun and helped to ease some of my tension as of late. On Saturday night, Boy and I grabbed burgers at a deluxe burger place (35 different kinds) with our friends Jack and Sally and after dinner, retired to our cleaned up place to play Left 4 Dead/talk about wedding stuff. Both Boy and I are in the wedding party for their Halloween nuptials and as a former wedding vet (I actually blogged for a popular wedding site for a time), Sally and I discussed some of the stuff that needed to get done in the next seven months. I’ve got to say, it was kind of nice to be on the other side of things for a change. As much as I loved our wedding (and I totally did), having some distance from the stress of planning definitely makes it easier to deal with.

Then, on Sunday, we went to see Boy’s brother Logan get his black belt in Muay Thai kickboxing. I had never seen Logan do any of his martial arty stuff before, but it basically confirmed to me that:
a) I am incredibly out of shape.
b) I am now related to someone who could easily be a character in Street Fighter.
I mean, Logan is naturally very mild mannered, but his skills in ass-kickery are a bit intimidating to someone whose only natural means of defense are pinching and extremely bony elbows.

In any case, that is where things stand right now. I will hopefully get the chance to write again later about silly things like Ron Perlman and annoying hipster hair dressers, but I figured at least a minor update was in order.

Hope everyone else had an awesome weekend and look forward to “seeing” some of you at tomorrow’s book club! 🙂

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Sometimes I think I am cursed. Well maybe cursed isn’t the right word. Cursed implies broken mirrors or angry old gypsy ladies that shake their nobby-boned fingers at you, condemning you to eternal damnation after you thoughtlessly run over their cats with your car. No, on second thought, the word I’m looking for is probably plagued.

Yes, it seems I am plagued with wanting. The thing about wanting is that it grows in proportion to the age you are. When I was little kid, I wanted things like chocolate or stuffed animals or tree houses, and because these were smaller wants, they were easier to satisfy (well except for the tree house – there would be no tree house).

But then I started to get older and things started to get more slightly more complicated. My wants required more strategy and effort. I found myself wanting things like red hair, to get into college and to kiss that boy with the smirky lips. Sometimes it was tricky, but I always, always managed it because I had plans.

I was determined and focused and I would not be denied.
But now that I’m an adult, I’ve reached this horrible stage where a box of Clairol, an all-night cram session or a tube of strawberry lip gloss won’t do the trick anymore. It’s a stage where, in spite of all my concentrated efforts, I just have to throw myself out there and just hope through the grace of the universe that everything works out.
And that sucks. One, because I am not that good at waiting for things and two, because it just makes the want more intense and tension filled. Because all the while that you’re waiting and wanting, you’re wondering what the hell the universe is doing.
Right now is one of those times. I have thrown myself out there to the big one. Penguin freaking Books. This is my Holy Grail. My Moby Dick. My whatever clichéd literary reference you’d like to insert here. My brain is too dead and too preoccupied with wondering to come up with anything good. It’s only been a day and already have checked my e-mail a million times. My stomach is welling with anticipation. I have been popping Tums like candy. My nerves are physically conspiring against me.

If you don’t know much about the literary world, let me educate you now. Applying to gigs is incredibly thankless and the few times you are actually given a name to apply to, chances are you will never see what the face that actually matches it looks like because it is so wildly competitive, landing an interview is rare. Internal promotions are common and the external posting is mostly a formality.

Since I have been applying for book gigs, Penguin has been at the top of my list. The woman in charge of hiring at Penguin is named Paula and I have submitted to her at least a dozen times. Sometimes it’s been for things I’m unqualified for. Sometimes it’s been for things I’m half qualified for. I’ve basically been operating under the law of averages: if I do it enough, somehow in some way, the resume will end up working and land me an interview. But this time, I feel like statistics are working in my favour. I mean, yeah I’m always kind of screwed because I’m applying to perhaps the biggest book producer in Canada, but this gig, I am totally and completely qualified for. I know in my head and feel in my bones that I could do this job.
I’ve written a persuasive cover letter and spiffed up my resume, but for now, that is all I can do. Except wait. Wait and want and hope that the universe will do me a solid and help Paula to pick my application out of hundreds, possibly thousands, to call for an interview.

So, this is why I did not write today and may not tomorrow. Because I am plagued with the wanting.

I think I’d rather take my chances with the pissed off gypsy ladies. At least them I could escape. 😛

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. . . ly busy!

My job is pretty seasonally based so things are on the upswing again and I have less time to blog since I am instead exhausted researching and dealing with crazy clients.

Anyway, I will try to pop in when I can to share little tidbits, but the three posts a day schedule is probably out the window.

My tidbits for this morning:
1) Boy is awesome and woke up early to make me fresh silver dollar pancakes before I went to work this morning.
2) This weekend’s plans include an hour-long massage tomorrow and going to see my friend flash the audience at the Bloor Cinema tonight.
3) There is actually a crayon colour named “Awesome”.

awesomecrayon

Do you think Crayola would ever name a crayon colour “Wicked” or “Gnarly to the Max”? Because if they did, I think I might have to buy a box.

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But the sunshine is making me dream of the beach.

As I mentioned before, I lost my adorable swimsuit, so I’m in the market for a new one. I’ve found two cute ones and am in the middle of trying to decide so I thought I would see what the blogging audience thought before I shell out the cash.

redfloralswimsuit

Option #1: The red floral bikini – I was surprised by how much I liked this one because I am not a red person, but this pattern really caught my eye. Plus, the little ties on the bottom are flirty and cute!

greentankini

Option #2: The green tankini – This one comes in a bunch of colours but I’ve really been into green lately and this shade is pretty. And again, the bottoms have little flippy bits on the side which are cute.

With the insane shipping and handling, my budget only allows for one, so weigh in below!

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