(I’ve been thinking a lot this morning and this entry is probably fairly emo, but I hope you’ll indulge me and read anyway.)
Okay, so in case you hadn’t guessed from my video game themed wedding, my obsession with movies and books and my generally dorky pop culture references, I’m a geek.
I’ve bought comics the day they came out. I’ve dressed up in silly costumes. I’ve quoted Futurama or MST3K in social situations. I’ve done it all and I’ve had a blast doing it.
But it wasn’t always this way.
In high school, I spent a lot of time sitting around and quietly worrying about what people thought of me. I was shy and easily embarassed and I didn’t want to call attention to myself so I let that stop me from doing a bunch of things I wanted to do. This strategy sucked and is something I heartily regret because, in denying myself enjoyment, it probably ended up making the hard times even harder.
Patton Oswalt (an awesome comedian who I totally dig) once said to an idiot heckler at one of his shows “You’re going to miss everything cool and die angry” and I can’t help but think that’s true. If you spent all your time whining and
$h!tting on everyone else’s stuff while not going out and enjoying your own, then what is the point?
So now, as an adult, I’m finally learning to take a different tact and in the last couple of years, I’ve been investigating anything that catches my interest, a lot of it being geek-related, because I want to make up for the time I lost. I want to be more passionate and excited. I want to be bolder and adventurous. I want to recapture that sense of wow I had as a kid.
I mean do you remember how when you were a kid everything was amazing? Like you couldn’t get over how birds flew through the sky and flowers pushed their way out of the ground and how rainbows were just water droplets lit up by the sun? It was as though everything in the world was some sort of thrilling secret being revealed to you and you alone.
I’m only 26 years old right now and there are a lot of things I’m still learning, but I do know that,while there are lots of things we grow out of as we grow up, a sense of wow shouldn’t be one of them.