Right now I’m waiting for something. Well, waiting to find out about something and it’s driving me crazy. I am after all, the girl who, when she was waiting for her college acceptances, would check the mailbox three times a day. I would check once in the morning, once when I came home for lunch and once when I came home from school. The mailman was not about to outfox me, my friends. I would grab that letter straight out of his hands if I had to!
Anyway, since I have to wait and I am no good at it, I figured I would do what it is I do best when I’m stressed and impatient – focus on some random aspect of pop culture. Today’s topic – Why Andrew McCarthy Sucks In Pretty In Pink.
This pearl of wisdom can be attributed to the fact that I watched Pretty in Pink over the weekend. The Boy was sleeping and I was still kind of sick so, even though I had seen it before in my ’80s devouring youth, I figured I would give it another go. And you know what I discovered upon this view, aside from the fact that Annie Potts has an ass that won’t quit? I discovered that Andrew McCarthy’s Blane/Blaine is kind of a soul sucking douchebag.
Seriously, think about it. He seems to fancy Andie, so he uses his rad Commodore 64 Dot Matrix Skills to win her over and then like the second after he does – he completely ceases to be charming. Half of the conversations they have in the movie, he looks around distractedly, concerned that someone might see them together. When he brings her out, he insists that they go to his stupid friend’s house where she is insulted and he lethargically sticks up for her (if I’m remembering correctly, she is the one who instigates their leaving). Then he avoids her phone calls and rudely reneges on his invitation to take her to prom by lying and saying he invited someone else.
And then, at the height of it all, when he has showed up at the prom with no date at all (which everyone treats as romantic but which further confirms his lying and douchebaggery!), he turns to her and says “You said you couldn’t be with someone who didn’t believe in you. Well I believed in you. You just didn’t believe in me. I love you… always. ”
Really Andrew McCarthy? Really? You openly treat her like crap in front of everyone and then you have the balls to throw it back in her face and pretend like your relationship didn’t work out because she was the one who didn’t try? She’s supposed to get “I love you” from that kind of behaviour? Are you kidding me with this $h!t? That’s just as bad, if not totally worse than James Spader’s Steff because, while that guy is a slimey weasel asshole, at least he’s upfront about being a slimely weasel asshole and not parading around pretending to be blazer wearing emo boy.
If you ask me, and it’s my blog so we’re asking me, she should have just gone to prom with Duckie*. Now, I’m not a Duckie-Andie shipper and I totally don’t forgive Jon Cryer for his participation in Two and a Half Men, but he was her friend and a generally good guy. He stuck up for her when people were mean to her and he cared about her being happy, even if, at the end of the day, it wasn’t with him. They could have gone as friends, danced to a bunch of ’80s bands no one would ever listen to again outside of that decade (Flock of Seagulls/Toto/Berlin anyone?), grabbed breakfast at Denny’s, and then, she could have gone home to her alcoholic father and enjoyed a sound sleep, unclouded by the stupid emotional manipulations of that dumb ginger boy.
So boo to you Andrew McCarthy in Pretty in Pink! I hope when Blane/Blaine went off to college he got c*ckblocked at every possible opportunity.
*And she should have worn Iona’s unmodified prom dress, but that is a rant for another entry. I mean who in her right mind would demolish a beautifully preserved vintage dress to make that potato sack looking mess?